the Ughh Factor...

The ughh factor can be defined as when you see a quality about yourself played out by someone else and you suddenly wish you weren't that way...Ughhh....

When checking out at the grocery line, i always find it necessary to be overly pleasant and inquisitive regarding the person checking me out. I always feel that by asking about the person, some how it includes them in my shopping experience and elevates the task from routine to slightly gratifying because someone cares about them, the bagger. Frequently this overly gregarious charm, as i formerly reffered to it, carried over to the customers around me if they looked interested. i felt an expert in the field of knowing my audience..(refer to blog about my life as a stand up comedian) In fact all stores, all retail employees get the same treatment, it's just how i roll(ed).

Well this morning, it dawned on me...maybe i am annoying...I know, it's crazy to think that.

The story behind this reasoning is as follows....

i was at the Brazilian Bakery (best breakfast food ever, seriously...Can i get a witness!!!!) and this fella was talking to me and to the clerk. There he was at 7am in the morning asking all sorts of questions and talking to me like he knew me, before my coffee was in my hand.... i found myself very irritated, yet pleasant..yep, it's true, i was like.."dude, seriously, i don't want to answer any of those questions..yes i love football and yes i watched Grays Anatomy, no i don't think the BCS is any good ~ playoffs are better and i have no idea what's going on in Mcdreary's head, Save the cheerleader save the world was the stupidest draw ever, but it worked, yes worldhunger is an issue and Shula should be fired and yes it's exciting to see Jimmy Johnson win in points. Yes i have a dog and green is a good color, but not on me. Ok, i do like to cook but grilling and smoking don't make me a good cook. No i am not married, the woman species as a whole have rebelled against me in a c0upe, i just know it's true.......Yes i have gone on a date, seriously, did you just ask me that? "

It was at this very moment, it dawned on me...i'm just like this guy...and the Ughhh factor set in.....ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Beans for dinner....

What's in a date? Well -when single looking for the right lady, like i am, you need to perfect your dating craft. In my case, dating, is a craft that needs to be executed with the utmost care and precision. I am a really good dater, it's true! I guess you could say, i am a good hunter, or fisher if you want to look at it like my roomates girlfriend states it.... My roomate keeps telling me i need to get out of the catch and release pool if i want to get serious..I don't know about all that!

So when you are dating, i believe that i have found the secret to the perfect first date! You can take this to the bank all you single folks...it's a trip to the local java shop. It's just the best. It's low pressure, low key, inexpensive, casual, friendly and just a good place to go sit and determine if this is someone you would like to go out with again(I'll do another blog on "meeting people", "getting the date", and "second dates and beyond", i have to stop at relationships though) . This is something i preach to all my dating friends. The coffee date is the perfect first date!



I have done the fancy ones, the bar trips, the wine places, picnics, hikes...you name it i have tried it for an entry level date...but nothing compares to the good ol' coffee extravaganza! nothing like the sweet auroma of hot water dripping across a dried bean to relieve the pressures of the first date!

Oh..The places you'll go!

What's in a story? Well Let me just say I love to tell stories! I like to think of myself as a standup comedian, giving short standup shows to crowds of 3-5 people. I just seem to have the kind of life where collectively the things that happen to me make one say.."that could only happen to you Mike". Most of the time the stories are funny -generally filled with some type of sillyness that people don't encounter unless they have really bad luck or just odd luck, and in some instances good luck. I find this story telling most enjoyable and generally provokes some extremely entertaining conversation, which unlike traditional stand up, the audience doesn't get the opportunity to talk back...

I say that only to mention that i have come to the distinct conclusion with yalls help, that i'm not as funny as i think i am! what a sad reality to live in...and all this time i thought i was funny! darn! The stories are funny, but with out a story, i have little to no comedy presence...Oh well, i guess i'll just keep on being me, people seem to play along and like me..i do appreciate everyone being actors while i play a comedian!

Don't Jump!

well that's not even what this message is even about! I thought i would mention what it's like to drive with me...I am seriously thinking that I need a navational system in my car in order to get myself around. I have two critical conditions that make it difficult to execute directions, well actually 3..possibly 4...here they are!
#1) I'm a man
#2) Ask for directions, why, i'm sure i will find a good indicator of direction on the corner..
#3) I'm ADD and don't pay attention
#4) I never print directions and don't listen when people give them...

On second thought, i don't know why i wrote this, i'll find my way, i don't need a stupid GPS telling me where to go...

Oh, here's a picture- My friend Christina and I were on our way to Florida from Atlanta, but saw this great sign and had to take a picture...let me know what you think, cute huh?

YO:

What's in a word? I love to use the term YO...i use it as "hello". I say "YO!, what's up". with the proper inflection, Yo can be a sentence all in itself. Someone throw's a pumpkin at you...you might respond with a multiple inflection "YO-oooo". Let's say you want someone's attention, try this..."Hey, Yo" (remember, inflection must be going up on the 'O', this is very important).
Let's say you are driving, your jammin' to some tunes and someone calls...this is a great time to answer the phone with a good hard "YO!!!". It's just a quick 1 syllabel. The uses of this word are endless, you really just need to own it. You can never say this word meagerly, it always needs to be used with emphasis...Try it out! Let me know how it works!

YO....Out!