Trolling…

Well when it comes to meeting someone, there are lots of places. I am just going to throw a few out for discussion amongst you and your friends. Here are Mike’s Top 10 places to meet a nice girl based on years of research by yours truly (and conversely the girls met a great guy, so it works both ways:) :

• #10- Elevators- Always a good time to smile and say “hi” to a captive audience
  #9- Interstate 95 –Toll road- as good a place as any to pay for a car load of girls…and write a note on a piece of paper “got gas?” – Oh to be in college again
• #8- In the office- I would never advise this as a good place, but you have 1 built in thing in common, I’ve done it…never again…
• #7- In the mall- shopping is definitely a place to say “hello”, just smile and ask if they like what you have chosen…
• #6- Airplanes- Another opportunity to chat with someone that can’t run away, well not far away at least…
• #5- Grocery store - you can find some sweet convo in the frozen food section!
• #4- Any Restaurant- Waitresses love to chat, helps there tip. They get paid to flirt, use that time wisely. Toss out some charm…maybe they will toss back a number…
• #3- Bar Lines to a Bathroom- This is much better then at the bar. It’s a vulnerable state, nice time to strike up convo and be funny and witty..takes the mind off what’s going on…
• #2- Church- Super great place to meet someone that’s in many cases on the same page. Just say “hi”, they should be relatively charitable, after all…it’s church…but think of something to say beyond “hi"
  

AND THE #1 PLACE TO MEET SOMEONE……..
#1- Through friends in any location- Having an advocate is always the best way to win. If you have someone saying nice things about you, walls become mere speed bumps. you have to flirt and make sure that you be yourself….

It’s never easy; you always have to put yourself out there and rejection is always a possibility…Don’t think about it, just be natural. (what to say and how to act will be addressed in a later blog)

“S” & “ING”

When in the illustrious world of DATE, there are some terms that can get you tripped up. I’m not going to get too deep into this, just throw out a few points of discussion for you and your friends…..

Ok, here we go! When you go with someone for the first time to have coffee, it’s not really a date; it’s more like a screening..it’s true, don’t laugh! When you step up, ask them out (which I will dedicate a blog too in the future) it’s called a date. When you ask them out for a second date, you have now gone on a couple of date”S” and after a few consecutive date”S” you move from the “S” world to the “ING” world. It all depends on the level of consistency, commitment and compatibility... Let’s take a look at what the levels we go through in this.

Now in the “S” world there is a whole different set of rules to abide by. And in many cases these rules are defined differently by the parties involved. It's possible and in some cases acceptable that you might have another screening, or even another date... I’m not here to define the rules within the rule, but really just to mention that the “S” world is out there, and you might be in it.

The “ING” world also has a set of rules. Frequently the “ING” world will incur a stricter set of guidelines that generally will involve what we call the DTR(defining the relationship). In the “ING” world, you probably are only going out with one person. In “ING” you have probably determined that this is someone that is a good fit for many of the things you are looking for in a mate, this is a great step! (applause now:). This is generally right before you introduce the person as your “significant other”.

Now, if you have gotten to this point, Don’t freeze up, it’s just part of the process! YEAH YOU! You have successfully passed the screening, the date, the “S” world the “ING” world and now you are cruising on the “SHIP” world- the relation”ship” world. I’ve heard a different letter slip into that world, but this is a “G” rated blog. So, bounce these ideas around in your head, laugh out loud…take a look at where you are, laugh again…Let’s assign the right ending, whatever that might be!

The rest of the story(conclusion of last weeks tale) :

Well of course I never spoke with her outside of her monthly phone call, I would have remembered meeting her or telling her about my dog, friends, roomates etc... But my roommate who happens to also be named Mike used to talk to her all the time when she came by since he was at home. When shemade appointments with me, and talked to him at the house she thought we were the same person. ….I know, anticlimactic! Mystery Solved, my roommate was the special customer...

Stranger then Fiction!

Ok, so the best phone calls are the ones where the caller knows you and you have no idea who they are! these are priceless comedic moments that are never fully recognized until the call concludes and the story is retold. These stories can only be trumped by the calls that at the end, you have no idea why the person is calling, or how they know you..there is generally a reasonable explanation, generally......Here's my tale!

(names are changed to protect the guilty)
The other day my phone rings (don't act so suprised!). With cell phones generally i know the person calling, if i don't well they get a formal "Mike Judge" answer. In this case the person gave their name and i did not recognize it. they proceeded to talk to me for minutes knowing all kinds of things about me, my dogs name, my roomates, my house(wierd details, like they knew me really well) ...i proceed to have NO idea who this person is. Finally it comes out that it's my old exterminator that wanted to call their "special" customers. i found this odd on several levels. But particularly on the level that we had never met left me thinking crazy thoughts. The person was no longer with the same company, and felt they they had not said a proper goodbye. Keep in mind, this is an exterminator that to my knowledge we had never engaged in a formal conversation. So i thought it was a sales call, duh.... In my haste to want to terminate the call (it was a very sweet and genuine phone call) i said, "ok, i'll give your new company my business!" they insisted that it wasn't a sales call and in fact refused to allow me to change exterminator companies. Again thinking this is odd, i said "seriously, it's business, i am a salesman and understand the nature of a sales call". again they refused and reiterated what a special customer i was and how nice it had been working for me, and they wanted to say a proper goodbye and thank you...Seriously...creepy..that's no lie! so we get off the phone and i tell my roommate about this call. we both have a laugh and then lock all the doors. haahhaha.

A few days later it dawned on me...I had solved the mystery..my suspicions were verified and all made total sense...I should have been on CSI Atlanta!!!!
(check back next week for how the case was closed!!!!:)

Bulletpoints of Disinterest!

2007- Let’s see those goals. Can’t call them resolutions!

1)I am not going to allow my gregarious personality to cause friction in the lives of those people I am closest too. Yes, it’s true, the human condition has many cures but I’m not the Dr…Drama Free 07, I own the movie and I read the book…get on board this train is leaving the station. Toot, toot!!

2) I can’t run from good ol’ commitment for ever.....It’s true. I need to get tired of running…so guess what??? I’m going to do run a marathon. After many years of looking at the problem, and diagnosing it incorrectly, the latest and greatest solution is…instead of running away from things, run towards something, or get tired of running… Problem solved! It was the obvious fix, I know you all thought the same thing…why didn’t anyone email me that suggestion last year???

3) Eat better! This was a last minute entry! There really was only one way to solve this…I didn’t know what the solution was until I laid my eyes on her on Dec 23^rd in Costco. Never had I seen such a wonderment. With such delicacy she mixes, frequently mingling the fruits in such a delectable fashion that it’s no wonder she was still available. She chops with such precision and tenacity it’s perfect everytime. From time to time I can integrate a little fruit with a little vegetable to get a whole mess of juicy goodness! You guessed it, I bought me a blender! I love this thing, it’s the best…everyone needs it. Peanuts become peanut butter, water w/ veggies become boiling soup because of the sheer power and friction of her spinning blade. Ice cream in 30 seconds…mmm

How’d I do???

Happy New Year!

I'll have something fun posted by the end of the week! check back, don't forget about me:)